Me and the guy inside me!

There is a guy inside me who hate real life and I am ready to deal with it so we never agree on the topic "WORLD". He likes to document his stuff in a physical file, I think computer is better. He marks his important meetings and tasks on paper and I think Google calendar is free for a reason. He thinks books are men’s best friend; I think yes E-books really are.

Once he and I were sitting together thinking about our opposite personalities and trying to figure out one single thing in common.

The Man who hates the Light

The door was locked and there was no bulb or a tube light turned on in the room. The windows were covered by the black paper sheet and then further covered by curtains. The room was total dark; no source of light can come in to the room.

MATRIX

I was watching Matrix last night and this time it gives me a new thought at the middle of the movie. I pause the movie and start thinking about it. We all live in a Matrix, Yes! We all are living in a Matrix. We don’t decide according to what we believe is right. We decide what are system and surroundings wants’ us to think and decide. Long story short somebody has a control over our decisions, our thoughts and he/she is controlling us like a puppet.

Whatever it is which is trying to control over the world may or may not be a machine, technology or computer but if it is then the world will be so different I don’t know may be funny.

Happy Birthday PAL!

Q: Who cares how old are you but everyone cares what you have achieved… and achieved sounds funny on you… You are a big shit looser, so let’s start with the question what you have lost till yet… almost everything? LOL

A: Well, wrong… This time I have achieved something… the meaning of so many things comes at the front of me and I am in the state of change… Some people come to me as an eye opener… they teach me something which is horrible but truth.

Paul Popup's!

Reading is not only my habit, it’s my job. I not only read the words related to my job or my area of interest but sometimes randomly go for anything, Recipe, News, Sports and lot others I guess it’s good to have information about several different things, at least you got material to talk and write.

Hibernation Period!

I was not off, dead or according to one of my friend R.I.P, I was just struggling to get out of me to know me who I am? Sounds complicated and to some people cheap. Relax! I am not with the intention to start a love story here (with the sad ending!)

It was just I was exploring myself who I am and what my potential is! Tried so many new things, some are in progress, some ups and down… but overall the journey was fun! What I realize is that progress in life depends upon ups and downs in life. If you are continuously going down or continuously going up then I believe there is a problem.

Ok! From the writing point of view I was writing few different pieces, Dark, Real and Comedy to check where I am good.

Some of my pieces are:

An Important Man!

Story of a man who kill another with No Mercy without any good reason.

Chemistry

It’s about a Chemistry teacher who teaches the formula of Life.

The Last Race

The Last Race of the genius who is still very nearer to my Heart R.I.P.

An Alien Girl Friend

To me it was a normal post; I still don’t understand why people don’t like this?

Life without Facebook

A prototype of Life without facebook. Wrote on the night when facebook was dead for 30 mins. This was fun!

She was in Love

She was in LOVE! That’s all I can say!

Killed!

To me it was a sequel, to one of my friend this was one of my horrible piece ever!

Assessment of a Serial Killer

A Victim decided his punishment in his own court being himself the judge.

Encounter at a Coffee Shop

Funny Conversation between Rambo of First Blood and Chuck Norris.

Ok! Story time is over so should we do some work now? Oh Yes! After all I am an Internet Marketing Person as well J

My first ever Guest blog for Pak Mash, It was about the Online shopping Problems in Pakistan.

Online Shopping in Pakistan – A Love with Complications

Ok this was something I was busy with and a lot more is still in progress so will gonna update you soon. For rite now enjoy this and do tell me if you like or dislike any of the post above.

A Fox and the Horse.

Fox, an animal with four legs, but this is not all Fox is famous for but a lot more like brain and plan plotter. Usually fox is denoted to the humans (females) who play politics at certain levels for e.g home and others. From politics I really mean the politics of Pakistan.

I do agree with all the qualities described above but my observation didn’t stops here, it moves further and explores some different truths and few more characteristics on me.

Not as back as you have to say once upon a time but only move few months back, 3 days before her birthday… She was one of my very good friend (at least I think she was) I called her to celebrate the birthday together… She was excited but she said No as she was busy somewhere…and I said ok let me know whenever you will be free.

Though I am a horse with four legs and she was a fox. Most of my friends told me that she is dangerous and she will ditch you the moment she think she didn’t needs you but I always thought they all are stupid how can an animal ditch an animal… Thant’s true that we are not from the same specie but at least we do have four legs in common at least she is not human… she cannot ditch me.

Guess I was wrong… She called me a day after her birthday as she wants to meet and celebrate. We decided to meet on the north side of the jungle popularly known as Green side.

It was 9:30 PM I was waiting for her at the decided place “Green side”, it was very unusual that I was waiting for her as she is very punctual about time and it’s already 30 minutes late but I decided to stay and wait for her.

I sit on a bench, having her gift in my hand which I brought on the same day facing all the shit of rush hours but still a smile on my face… smile, may be because I am excited but that is what I was at that time. One can easily feel the pureness of friendship on my face and at the same time a monkey through the apple from the tree. It was him “askale”, (Popularly known as the messenger in our jungle). He came down and come nearer to my ear and delivers me her message.

“She is tired and can’t come!” It could be the day of death for Askale but I controlled myself and realize the importance of me in her life.

I was standing and her gift was still with me wrapped in a red and white gift paper and a card written “for my best friend”. I was finding a mirror to see myself in it and tell myself “Fucking Fool”. I take the gift out of the gift paper and throw is hard on the tree as it break in to millions of small pieces and this is how I celebrate her birthday!

I don’t know what she wants and I don’t care now of what she wants as I am finally out of the trauma. I don’t know if I am a friend of her anymore or not but she teaches me a lesson not to trust anyone, no matter how close you are.

Flood in Pakistan – From My Eye

I was there in the flood relief camp with friends and other people who were working hard with their souls to help the victims of floods. It was horrible to see the pictures and I also appreciate every single person who actually went then to help them in the month of Ramadan. I truly respect all of those people who help by their services, financially and in any manner they can.

But my question is different? I do realize the seriousness of flood and how many people are actually suffering from this. But still my point: Is Flood the only killer of those hundreds of innocent people of Pakistan? And if you think yes! My friends think again.

Humans from all over the world, and I really means human not those who have M4A1 in their hands, who can kill Palestinian children but still they are innocent and their spiritual leaders says to RIP off these evils from earth… Bloody Vampires oh let me call it Innocent Vampires… anyways… the humans and human lovers sent their contribution and aids but do the effected people actually got that? Or its available for sale in the markets?

According to the government officials there were like 42 medical camps available one particular area (don’t really want to disclose the area) but when one of my friends with his team visited that area they found themselves the 1^st team to setup the medical camp. The government is helping the flood victims on the papers may be but the only problem is these people are really down to ground so this documentation shit wont gonna work anymore, I can understand this… when a government will? That’s my question?

Look at the picture above! If you are not going to help them today in this time. If you want business from the aid. Honestly I pray to GOD next should be you.

Pre-Independence day Assessment – A Black coffee with no Sugar

August the 1^st, few more days to go for the big day. The independence day of Pakistan. The day when people of sub-continent acquire the fruit of the several years of the continuous struggle.

I appreciate it, we get the day off to celebrate it, national songs, prayers, promises and few bunch of idiots come on TV and give some idiotic speeches… but are we really good?, do we really care about our independence day? And questions to some wanna be burgers… do you really know why we get the day off on August 14^th?

Don’t you think we get the day off not to celebrate but for the assessment of who we are? Where we should be and what we are doing in the name of Islam, Muslims and two nation theory?

Come on! Let’s do that today! Let’s start the assessment of what we are doing and what we should do!

I live in a city where people die more than the people live. I live in a country where an idiot come on TV and say “Degree is degree… no matter fake or legitimate.” I live in a country where people are more excited about “Expendables” release more than the Independence day of Pakistan. I live in a country where the special trained dogs cannot even detect the planted bomb what a normal human with little experience can. The funny thing is the man who detect the bomb get the transfer letter as an increment, appreciation or whatever you call it.

60+ Years of Independence and we are standing nowhere! Simply nowhere in the list of successful countries. I live between the people who think kissing a snake is bravery (bull shit). We are one of those people who cannot think anything good about other people. I live between the people where a 17 year old kid shows the original iphone 3GS in his hand when his father is only a mediocre level worker at Income tax office and I am one of those people who knows everything but don’t want to speak, don’t want to change, don’t want the betterment. We all are the barking dogs.

Today after 60+ years of our independence, we are more illiterate, more corrupt, more violent, more disgusting and more revolt. Today I see myself standing nowhere. Today I am guilty, because when the police asked me for a bribe, instead of stand against him I give him the bribe. I am ashamed of myself and I have several reasons for it. Here I am standing today.

Now, where I will be? Am I going to change myself?... Are we going to change our self? Don’t know about you but I have already lost my 1 teacher and 2 friends who stand out for a change and what I get is shit. I have seen the mothers who lost their child for no reason.

I am guilty, and this is where I am standing, cuz every time I think of a change. I got the clear picture of my father who worked day and night for my batter education and comfort… I don’t know what I should do but one thing is definite I am a guilty bull shit.

What is SEO? The Most asked Question!

It’s irritating when people ask you about your education, result and job, at least for me it is!. Especially when they asked what do I do? I humbly replied, “SEO”. And the next question without even waiting for a second is, “What is SEO”? This is probably the more common question then “What is your name”?

Without the discrimination of any experience or age or anything all the SEOs will defiantly gonna agree me that this is the most common question as per their professional life. “What is SEO”? lol… and every time we need to play the same recording, the definition available on Wikipedia in order to stay away from other interrogative questions.

Every time we need to start like, “Search engine optimization (SEO) is the process of improving the visibility of a web site or a web page in search engines via the "natural" or un-paid ("organic" or "algorithmic") search results.” Normally people do not ask any question after this in order to maintain the impression that I can understand whatever you said.

I still remember the 1^st time I started the internship of SEO and tell my mother about it, she said, “(esy-hi-ho) in English “of no use”. Though it is funny to some extent, but very irritation when you are in love with the search industry or even you like it.

Once I tried to make my younger brother understand about what I do! I said look you Google things right? You get the top 10 listings on the 1^st page right? Yes, he said. What I do is I work over the website in such a way that it can get the top 10 rankings in Google from that particular term. (For me I guess it was pretty much cleared) He said, “So, by this you mean you cheat Google...Right?” Damn!

On, my first salary I took my few friends for the treat and as usual hey asked the same question and I find the easy way out and start the SEO rhyme (a definition for wiki) once again. As soon as I finished one of my friend said, “whatever!... you got the good salary right! Now treat us”

I remember, once my office friend decided to resign and I asked a valid reason for that? He said, “Man every time I decided to learn a new technique the next day Google change its algorithm!” He probably hates Google for this but I love it.

I don’t really get any idea to by pass this most common question of my life which always makes me irritated. Do you have any idea? Please speak up!

Yet Another Journey Ends…

I was young, too young to be on a Mic, when I hit the radio for the first time. It was fun, entertaining and different. I was there with my friend just to see the world on the other side of the Mic. It was hard to believe that the people on the other side of the Mic were also human with same; two legs, two hands the only difference was that, they speak a lot and I was shy (dumb).

One room full of people and women with a single point agenda “Keep Quite” and YES I can’t forget that the red light turns on exact at 9 AM Sunday Morning.

The last time I hit the mic was for the segment “Nice to meet you” for Program “From the Campus”. A Interview with the Principal of some College. She was good…study isn’t :p

Beside work, Radio was almost a second home for me. Lots of teaching love and people who care for me and yes! Some people who hate me but they didn’t have any other choice but to ignore me. All over, it was the height of fun and life.

At radio, everyone was unique, like everyone else and I guess that’s the beauty. Can’t forget few names ever in my life because these are the people who support me and appreciate me on my stupid recordings (I laugh loudly when I listen to them now…though m not a genius even now) but I can simply realize that if they were not supportive at that time I can’t get improved.

Again, I don’t think I am genius or perfect but still I think the radio time is over for me... Life will still move on but now I have different priorities and responsibilities in life to deal with.

I have seen the different ups and down, good and bad time at radio and It was the real fun. By reading this I think you can say, “It’s Boring” and as a matter of fact I knew it! But it’s hard for the express the joy associated with Radio Pakistan.

Life is life. It’s time to move on and this is the time to warmly welcome new people to come in…probably this is the time for a new people to come in and rock!!

I know this is the time to say Good Bye but I will obviously gonna miss my friends, teachers and people associated to that place. There is one echo in my mind which will never allow me to forget this heaven that is the punch line “Ye Radio Pakistan hay…” (This is Radio Pakistan!)

I will be more than just happy to help in any manner I can, to the team I have worked with (if possible) and this is not because I am too kind but this is because they have made my life. I was dumb they make me at least some thing. I was nothing and they polished me.

I thank all of the people who helped me in making me what I am today. Special Thanks to Baji, Asif bhai, Sister Baji :p, Man of UK, Folio 3, Faheem, MJ, Ex Warid telecom, Strict Man, Dr. Baqai Uni. And the list goes on… (nice way to hide the real names :) )

SHE...

"She" is the word used of the most complex specie I have seen on earth. SHE, the three later word bring different kind of feelings in different human beings...

Let's start with the truth first... SHE, sounds interesting, annoying (most of the times), confused, complex, pointless but yes the only good thing is beautiful. (let the beauty at a side please) Obviously not all the women are same but yes most of the women are and for the people who are women rights activist, friends, it's same as women says "Men are Dog".

Though, I have experienced and researched a lot about this specie and most of the time it was bad experience at least 80 % of them are bad but still She…

…I just looked at her like I look on every other single thing, look and over looked but this time. I tried to forget her but I can’t. She was simply irresistible, one cannot overlook her.

Heart beat becomes fast, blood started to supply more than usual, though I have a bit problem with my eye sight but at that time it becomes 6 x 6. It was hard to believe that she is from the same specie but she was. I am not really sure about all the qualities I mentioned in the beginning but 1 quality what I can clearly see at that time was beauty which was driven me crazy like never before.

She was different, more than just beautiful, awesome and amazing and one of the most rear creatures I have ever seen in my life till yet. I think I started loving her, because when I asked myself questions that suppose if she say No to whatever you have in your mind then (I know it’s too fast for this but I can’t control it!) and after a deep breath, I replied to myself while looking at her “I can kill her”… Oh man! According to me, to die for someone you love is easy, to kill others is bit difficult but to kill the person you love is almost impossible, I was touching that heights.

The Lady in Blue, almost 5.7”, curls hair and oh yes the way she walks… I challenge all the fairy tale beauty queens creators to bring someone like her or not like her try someone closer to her… Damn she was moving towards me, I stand up from my seat, I was feeling like the king of the world, I can clearly see the world under me. Imagining the world with her is different feeling itself.

I am confident enough to communicate well with the people even when they are stupid, but right now I am loosing it big time, really don’t know what to do? How to talk to her, what to do to make her stop for ever. She was fast, actually very fast the distance between or it was displacement (physics: directly from point A to Point B) was almost of 5 to 7 steps… 2 steps and she stops. Her curls were covering half of her face. She tried to manage her hairs and successfully did it with one hand… I know she can never fail. At last she speaks up, “Excuse me!”… Damn there was only me! The current passes through ma body… I was completely dead!

“You are beautiful, It’s True” yes, it’s true…This song is for her only!!... She said, “I am waiting for someone, can I have a seat beside you?” …who the hell will gonna say no, but I couldn’t say anything I tried a lot to speak up…hell lot of feelings and no guts to express… I tried to speak several times but I failed…bloody looser I am.

She sits beside me… oh what a feeling… she can clearly see the endothermic reactions going on under me… hell…. one can easily see the delta heat coming out, bloody worm breaths…

She sits, She waited…She got a call and then she gone… and I… Hell I could not speak up…not even a Hello…!!

I go almost every day to that place for months, I asked several people about her but no result, no clues… stupid me. Every time when GOD blessings are upon me…I am the bloody fool always in the bathroom singing some stupid song…

I don’t really blame me, but anyone can be like me at front of her… Whenever I am relaxed and look back to my good old memories what all I think of is SHE…

Degree is Degree!

Degree is Degree, no matter fake or legitimate. This is the saying of one of our ministers in Quetta, Mr. Aslam Raisani. You might be shocked and surprised but I am not and before you come up with the question that do I have the fake degree? So before you ask let me clear this thing that I am an idiot so I am struggling for a degree.

While me and a friend were waiting outside the office washroom (A usual practice) he asked, “When these ministers are going to educate themselves?” and I replied, “My friend you need to grow up and as far as the ministers are concern the government officials are well educated even some on the higher ranks (may be, president) are over educated.

The fake degree, mobile snatching, target killing, bomb blast and other non-humanitarian activities are actually our culture, and PEMRA “Pakistan Electronic Media Regulatory Authority” in calibration with the private channels wanted to demolish this culture like the opposition wanted to demolish the government before their usual time (5 fuckin Years). I support opposition; I always support opposition no matter who they are? At least they are doing their work (Opposing the government).

Yes I agree, Degree is a Degree, nothing else. Degree does not make any difference its money; degree does not make you powerful its PR (Political Relationships). So what if you have the legitimate degree? I can show you thousands of people in a county with the genuine degree but are jobless. Show me one person who is jobless with a fake degree!

It may be hard to believe that degree is nothing but a fuckin piece of paper (pardon my language). What all I want is to reconsider few factual problems in Pakistan, two of the most highlighted problems are child labor and Jobless MBAs. Let’s cut the crap that what we can do for them and all but see these problems from the different angle. Look, children have jobs and MBAs are jobless that’s because degree is degree, nothing else, degree is a fuckin piece of shit, degree is not going to give you money or job or financial success.

What can give you above mentioned pleasures? That’s what you have to figure out! Remember a normal person with no schooling is illiterate but a wealthy man with no schooling is a dropout!