Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Office Memo!

(I write this post couple of months back but waiting for the right time to make it live so here it is!)

Yesterday, I signed in through a thumb detector machine in the office as usual and turn on my PC; the moment I looked at the desktop screen the message popped up!

“As you know that you are working in one of the highly competitive IT firms, so to stay on top in this tough race and to attract the quality human resource we need you to follow certain rules and regulations (Applied from today).

  • Though the female specie is not really uncommon but still to make them feel special and unique all the male staff is required not to use the elevator when there is a female in it.
  • Coffee in the morning allows you to spends a fresh working day and helps you in fight with the challenges you came though, so we request male staff to wait while female staff can have coffee with short morning chit chat of 30 minutes, male staff can go into the kitchen after that and shout politely on peon, “where is the hell is the sugar?”
  • If you have flu or normal cough due to the weather change and any of the female member of your team think she is not comfortable with that we humbly request you to please resign yourself or else we reserve the rights to fire you; but if there is the same condition with the female member of the office we want male staff to tolerate this as after all she is the part of your creative team.
We want all the male staff to limit their social contacts to other team members if any of the female member is not comfortable with it, also the higher management believes that you will discount-nude you conti-nude schedules from today onwards".

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